Learn to love without need or expectation of restitution.
“To love without need or without expectation of restitution, that is how we ought to love” ~ Criss Jami
Lately Twin Flames and namely the Feminine side of the bond (most often Feminine energies are represented by women in the relationship, but not always) has healed, found strength and learned to love freely in the ethers their beloved Twin Flames.
This happened as a result of all the work that has been done to heal the heartbreak. Remember, we have tried it as much as we could, said everything, put all the disappointment, the love and the beauty we longed for on the table – until it was crsytal clear that it is not happening, or at least not now.
We have learned to forgive, develop compassion and the caring, nurturing, healing energy of “maybe they love me too, maybe even they love me as much as I do but for some reason this isn’t working, they don’t want it and that’s fine and I still love them deeply for who they are even if I get “nothing”“ – that was a big step as We, or the most “attached” Twin Flame of the pair, or the “Chaser” ultimately saw that love is also to Respect other people’s choices and being able to say “I’ll be happy if you’re happy, even if this is somewhere else or with someone else”.
The “Chaser” Twin Souls have therefore started to believe that they were more ready than their counterpart as they had healed, understood and forgiven or found their strenght, power, inspiration and fire again and even after such a heartbreak. They started to think that enough space had been cleared within them from the past of that relationship – so the relationship could start again. But as their counterpart didn’t come back… they started to believe that their Mirror were the Unready side of the Coin while they were, on their side, Ready and sort of 100% healed.
But this is a new step now, and a lot more is to actually to be learned by Both Sides of the Pair.
First, the “Runner” will eventually and when the time is right for them, go as deep as the “Chaser” already had because of the relationship and the hurt it is causing by not happening in the physical.
Chronologically, it’s common to see one side of the pair going through the Dark Night of the soul first – which is itself generated by the struggles of the Twin Flame’s relationship – but the other side of the pair is expected in this life, if they accept their soul’s mission, to dive as deep within as their counterpart… which will happen when the time is right.
The “Runner” is therefore expected to dive deeper into themselves, see more of their own truth and patterns – even if this will most likely brings as always discomfort and a desire to run away from reality, former failures or pittfalls. This Twin Soul’s next adventure will be found most importanty within, by seeing the truth of where they are at and accepting the life’s lessons they have received so far even if they didn’t always accept to see.
Not all of them will accept that mission, however. They have no “obligation” to do so – but this is their next step if they accept the calling to heal, grow, and do the work that their soul has received in this life.
Besides, there is US. Shall I say “me”, or the ones like me – the Chasers.
We think “they haven’t done the work yet”. We sometimes still blame them for not being who we want them to be, when we wanted it so bad, and exactly they way we Expected.
This, is because we now have a lot more to learn… which is loving, romantically, strongly and from a place of being already complete and self-reliant within BUT in the physical. Yes this is what we have felt like doing with our Twins as we have healed from the heartbreak BUT this didn’t lead to a true, landed, physical relationships where we could practise in the tangible what we have learned.
The truth is, we never got the change to practise in the physical a love based on no need, no unhealthy attachment or expectation about what the outside world should do to make us feel saved or happy.
We feel that we “know” how to do this, but we still have to practise what it is to love when we don’t need anymore emotional support, help on the journey, financial contribution or sexual healing through another.
And, the Ether and the Physical are very different realms, as for love.
My personal experience is yes, I do love my Twin “freely” – meaning no matter where he is at, what he is doing, who he loves or doesn’t love and etc. and I feel I’d be super happy to see him anytime as I have “forgiven” (this makes me smile now, because the truth is he never did anything wrong… it was just me and my expectations, fantaisies, dreams for us both…) BUT when a real man is in my very physical life, right there in the room and I start to develop feelings, desires, or a longing for us both to become more, things are different.
I’m seeing that in the very tangible world, I can still have expectations or feel attachment, or even a longing for them to make me feel better in some way. Less than before of course, even a lot less, but still… Practise is needed ❤
As “Chasers” our next step could be to learn to love freely in the physical and with someone new. Which may be, I must say, very different, at least for me – from doing it energetically, from afar with someone who lives on the other side of the world, or in the beautiful world of words.