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Love Was More Than I Had In Mind

I used to think that passion fades in time. It doesn’t. It grows through doing life together, coming back from conflicts, letting the soul bare.

I used to think that love is either wild passionate and sexy – or responsible, kind, protective and a little dull. It isn’t. Some are all the good pieces of that.
I used to think that the magic is when “you meet the one”. When it’s in front of you, right here, like a sparkling reward. When it starts, when it makes you feel like anything is possible because they actually are what you sought.

This moment is key and most often unforgettable – but beauty, alchemy and a work of another kind actually start a little after that.
After a few months. When it’s not about discovery or feeling lit up by another’s presence anymore.

When attachment patterns resurface. When you witness your partner in states of depth you never knew about. When you learn to not take things personally. When you understand they are on their own process.

When you feel yourself becoming attached and remember other losses, past heartbreaks. When you understand you actually didn’t know much about love – I mean the healthy kind.

When you actually start to build. When you see yourself actually creating a life, and a home, out of an initial spring spark – and you fear isn’t that too big, too wild. When it’s not only about the good times and pretty dresses – but winter, and the rain, and the days when we work, and the days when everyone is tired, and the days when you lose your temper.
When the initial excitement of “I think it’s Him” becomes fear of potential future pain – because you fear you might not be up to the task. When you feel the bond grow, in your blood, in your bones – and you just hope you won’t self-sabotage.

When you actually make your first big “mistakes”. When you actually end up showing this darker, little girl side of you, the one who cries hours at night when she’s sad. When you wonder if they will still love you after that.

When you start to see not all of this pain is his fault. When you see yourself more accountable than ever before because of that. When there is no room anymore to hide, to himself, and to you.

When he disappoints you big time for the first time – and you see yourself reflecting, understanding, forgiving and learning instead of finding faults. When you start to get that it’s best to understand and witness – rather than be right.
When the level of the initial questions is passed. When time has actually proved all your deepest fears wrong.

Because he is in fact there. He is in fact accountable, present, loving and wild.

It’s when this initial blue sparkle becomes house. Becomes daily love, the right dose of intimacy and boundaries – the right dose of showing up in togetherness and freedom.
I used to think that passion fades. It doesn’t. It grows through sharing depths, coming back from conflicts, letting the soul bare.

I used to think that love fades in time. It doesn’t. It grows as a garden of memories, as strong as the dark nights we travel together – as tall as this carefree blue ways of looking at life that we have when the sun shines.

I used to think that love is either wild passionate and sexy – or responsible, kind, safe and a little dull. It isn’t. I thought this because I had never experienced this type of relationship in the past.

Maybe I wasn’t ready, or it wasn’t time.
Love is more than what we first have in mind.

It asks more of us than what we first had in mind.

Commitment to another & to the self through another is a journey – not the kind of commitment that we make on paper, but one that is felt and decided in the heart.

Commitment to be and remain accountable. Commitment to keep showing up. Commitment to have a deeper look within, rather than outside.
The love I’m experiencing right now is bigger and more transformative than I thought was possible. It’s all more fun, vibrant, joyful, adventurous and soft that I hoped for.

Maybe, he is the one. I actually felt that at this initial moment – that spring night with a blue smile.


Picture borrowed from
IG The Rising Woman.


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Send me a message via the contact page for further information and/or to schedule.


Twin Flame Readings

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SHE IS THE MOON is released!

Dear friends, so grateful to share with you that my book SHE IS THE MOON has now been released!

It has been written over the years, as I was travelling in the world & back to myself. Part of the writings & poems that are included within She is the Moon were inspired by the Twin Flame’s experience and journey that I myself went through.

I hope you will enjoy it! 

Here is the link to find more >>

And it is a promise from the ancient times, that those spiritual warrior ones will find their mirror and match in another when the Sky says—it is Time.
And it is a promise from the original sacredness that One that has explored those same struggles and mystical prayers of finding the self, of rising in what is Truth, of deconstructing the lines and barriers of the mould to create a self-made journey of dirty hands and faith, of battlefields and freedom, a road of darkness to Kingdoms, One who also bears the name of Alchemy—will be there and ready and found, according to what was already written,
When the sky says— it is Time.

Christmas sales -15% off on Twin Flame Readings & Healing sessions! Contact me via the contact page or book here ❤

Love is a force of a different kind.

The Heart has been broken, sometimes, in the past. Broken, because it trusted. Broken, because we were dearmoured. Broken, because it was beautiful. Because it felt good.

And then something turned out the wrong way. Someone said something and another type of dance -a dance made of fire and darker stones- begun. Love was the same face, but it seemed that its song has changed. The light went away, a melody withered.

The heart thought, I’m entering a long night.

And so we lost hope. And so we started to blame because, how could love be that in & out while having the same name. How could things show so many different facets, different notes. And, why was it us. Why were we the fool.

We said never again. We said, never will I trust that much. Never will I go that far. Never will I surrender my armour in that way, that beautifully, with such openness.

Never will I offer skin, heart and words, to places that ultimately didn’t receive the scent.

But for people like us, that road, often. The road of closing the heart. Is more like a moment. A temporary refuge, a shelter for thinkers.

Because, it always ends up happening. It just reopens. We start to see things differently, to see where we ourselves failed. We start to understand, to forgive even. And sometimes, we start to love even more because we have travelled such a path for two, already, and everybody seems to be alive after the fire.

It just comes back. Love, as an energy. With or without our participation, our will.

Not because we are the fool. Not because we are not aware, weak or inconsistent. Not because we are faillible, innocent or fragile.

No, it comes back because that is who we are. It comes back because, for people like us, Love is just something that we came here to do.

Something that we can’t truly repress, in truth. Something that we came here to live, to embrace, to discover, to go through.

It comes back because, we’ve understood that love is like life, a thing of different facets. That love is like the sea, the Sun and the Moon.

That it cycles, that it moves, that it evolves. Yet without losing its essence, its unalterable force, its higher & divine reason to be.

We come back because, for some of us. Our path is Love.

We come back because, we are of the Lover kind.

And because, Love is like the Moon, the Sun & the sea. Its force is of a different kind.

It’s stronger than fear.
Bigger than our shields.
Taller than our inner wars.

The faster you heal yourself, the faster you receive Divine Destiny.

And sometimes, to heal themselves, Divine Counterparts must precisely be apart so that individual karma is cleared without interfering with their Twin’s own process,

& so that the karma that the Soul carries on a shared level is released without recreating – within the sacred bond – any turmoil, hurt, pain or layers of a lesser level than the one of Divine Union.

It is always important to remember that both counterparts receive signals from the higher realms and from the magic of synchronicity when they are supposed to do something or communicate.

In particular, masculine divine souls have been asked by the Universe, to wait until their counterpart has found wholeness, joy and deep knowing on her own – before their shared journey resumes in the physical.

This Is A Love, We Have To Become Ready For.

You have always said you were ready for that love, dear soul. In truth, you have always felt this.

And you were, of course. You were ready for the light, for the joy, for the chemistry. You were ready for the firework, for a shared folly, for a life of beauty and sparkles for two – you were ready for the Divine Union’s balls. 

Always, you were ready. And you thought and you said that you were – that you were ready for it.

But then, whenever it wasn’t happening right, or as you thought – you were starting to think of something else. You were starting to fear. You were starting to seek something else to do, something else to feel. You were starting to wonder, if this dream of balls for two had even been reciprocated, if that love was actually real !

Whenever it wasn’t there, in your reality, present – here and right now and for you – you started to doubt it. 

You thought you were ready but, whenever This was bringing you to the core of yourself, to your dramas, to your aches, to your neediness, to your voids – you were slowly drifting away, slowly reopening questions that you thought were done and close – in some way, you were slowly leaving.

You thought you were ready, but whenever you were not filled by its laughter, its sparkles, the generosity, the light of that love, its magic – you were starting to wither, to fade away, to lose trust.

You thought you were ready but, whenever he disappointed you, whenever he did the wrong thing, whenever he wasn’t the man than you thought, whenever you saw too much of his dark face – you went elsewhere in your thoughts, you stopped having faith, you stopped believing.

You thought you were ready but in truth, you had to become Full First.


You had to become Full first, so you can remain when it aches.

You had to become full first, so you can stand the heath, the flames, the questions marks, the wind, the lack of stability, the lack of consistency of this external, divine magic.

You had to become full first so, you don’t move and push and pull and wave and shift – because of it, through it, or for it.

You had to become full first, and stable within you, and anchored, and tall and strong – so your stability, your tallness, your strength, your power, your wholeness, your ground – doesn’t depend on it.

You had to become full first so, when you get lost, when you get sad, when life is too hard, when you miss a shelter, when you desire a man’s arms, when you feel cold, when Winter is coming, when you don’t remember why the hell you are here, when you can’t hold the wideness and the depth of your heart any longer on your own – you didn’t have to go, and seek, and chase, elsewhere — elsewhere than, Within YourSelf. 

You had to become full first, so you don’t doubt, you don’t change your mind – as soon as what you see on the outside gets silent or dark.

You had to become full first, so this knowing almost doesn’t depend anymore on what you see.

You had to become full first, so this Love becomes an evidence, a Knowing – and not a way of being filled, from the external. So that it becomes a Fact, a Truth – not an Elixir.

You had to become full first, so you remain even when you are not filled and fed and nurtured by him.

You had to become full first, so you see the difference between Love and Need.


You were always ready for this love.

You have been ready since the first glance, of course you were, caught by it as by a spell – one instant.

But to become Ready for it, I mean ready for its anchoring – you had to become Full, see. 

Because when we are not full, we identify our pain with the vessel our pain found us, reached us through. We confuse our pain, with the person that conveyed it. We mislead the parts of ourselves that we don’t know how to love yet – with the one that showed us those parts, with whom revealed the lack, the void, the anger, the sadness, our incapacity to be Full.

You had to become full first so, you don’t identify anymore – Someone Else with the Way They Make You Feel, with the negative feelings that such a deep bond may resurrect, may give birth to within.

You had to learn to not identify the way you feel, with a person, with another being. To not identify the way a difficult feeling to bear finds you – with the person, the soul, that carries it, that brought it to you – with the gift wrapping.

You had to become Whole in your knowing, entire in your certainty. Convinced of yourself, convinced of your ability to be whole, full and free, masculine and feminine, soft and healed and tall and in your power – you had to do all this. So your Love becomes arrived, still, so it becomes stable and soft, gentle, ever-present, relieved.

You were always ready for this love. Always. It was the matter of an instant.

But to become ready for it, for its Life – for The Life Of This Love – you had to become Full, first, dear.