Please find below my latest writing about codependency vs more mature, healed and healthy ways of romantic love:
“7 Signs You are in a Codependent Relationship.
The partnership that I’m currently in is asking of me to release remnants of such ways that I still have—especially when facing triggers.
What makes a relationship codependent is the prominence of the traits stated below compared to the healthier aspects of a romantic connection. If you have felt yourself doing one of these in the past rather regularly, you may simply have further inner work to do.
Here is what I have learned about how to identify traits of codependency and how to heal such dynamics within our relationship:
1. Time spent apart is lived as a threat.
In a codependent relationship, fear may arise when one takes space out of the partnership unit. Time spent with families and friends can be lived negatively for one or both.
As the relationship progresses, one may start to disallow their lover to do things without them. It develops slowly and insidiously, but once the relationship is settled, its container starts to feel like a trap because every attempt to be away from the couple or with others is received negatively. This can also lead one or both to hide part of their activities, to avoid the drama that may follow the announcement of time about to be spent away.
This pattern obviously finds its roots in a lack of trust—one fears the love isn’t strong enough to endure separation or the presence of others. They don’t trust the solidity of the connection, they think it must be controlled or managed to work. As a consequence, when away from one another, partners may have to over-function to not feel the void.
2. We feel that we are losing our sense of self.
We are scared of sharing our dreams, visions, or goals when they don’t correspond to what our partner wants or their own image of us. We hide parts of our passions because we feel we may be less loved if we were to share fully who we are.
We are trying to be the man or the woman of our partner’s dreams. It becomes more important for us to keep the connection than to develop and mature ourselves. We are scared we could lose them if we were to fully embrace our own journey. What if one of our goals doesn’t fit the relationship framework as defined so far? We may even feel like changing ourselves to fit into our partner’s expectations and images of us. We may also see ourselves asking for approval and losing self-agency.
For the two reasons stated above, we may not be feeling anymore that we have our own, independent life as an individual.
3. Feelings, wants, or needs are not fully spoken out to avoid rocking the boat.
When there is a disagreement, we say what we think is going to be accepted by our partner. We avoid expressing fully what feels wrong or what we need because we are scared our partner could break up with us if we were asking too much.
To read the full post, please go here!
As always, feel free to comment or react directly on the post or via message. ❤
NEW: Intuitive Channeled Twin Flame Readings:
- Providing intuitive insights, more clarity on your situation and a read — as well as distance healing sent through Reiki.
- The reading I provide is based on intuitive, clairvoyance and claircognizance gifts.
- Sent with a spread of 3 Tarot cards also explaining what I felt and saw from another perspective.
- You may send me a short question, inquiry or situation you want to investigate about, and I read from there, even if the share is very short.
- The price is of 44€. The reading is of 10/15 min length approx., and is sent directly to your email box with the cards, and the recording, within the 24/48h following your purchase.
Send me a message to firstname.lastname@example.org for any questions, or to arrange your reading.
NEW: Sabian Symbols Astrology Readings
I offer a new type of astrology readings, based on Sabian Symbols. In a symbolic way, these refer to your soul gifts, purpose and the evolutionary path of your life. They are based on the exact degrees of your birth chart, for instance if you were born with Venus in Cancer 28° — the degree will be studied in-depth! They open up new horizons within the self as they relate in a mystical way your unique design and soul blueprint.
- Sabian Symbols readings can be done for yourself only, or to study in a non classical way the chemistry & potential of a couple.
- Sabian Readings are audio recordings of 30 to 45 min long for the individual, 45 min to 1 hour for the couple’s analysis. The cost is respectively of 77€ and 99€.
Send me a message to email@example.com for any questions, to arrange your reading.
“I have thought of you a lot, today.
So often, I have missed you.
It’s inexplicably hard what happened. You were toxic, but I fell in love with you.
Some said you were a sinner, a manipulative golden man, a narcissist. But I didn’t trust their judgment.
I trusted the memory, the ghost of you, who you were in our beginnings. I trusted the memory of when you were at your highest, your kindest, your most loving.
So often, I have wondered if this version of you was real. I sometimes feel that after that beginning, I never saw “you” again.
I remember that I fell in love with the way that you looked at me. Your promises, too.
You see, I didn’t know exactly what love was in those innocent times. I wanted passion, I wanted to be impressed. I wanted someone that was magnetic.
Love, I thought, was fire and sparks. But I know now that love is also presence, staying, understanding one another—feeling safe and protected.
I know now that I misunderstood the idea of love; that’s why I found you.
I thought that our love would be crazy, because you were one in a million—so special and free. But the way you disappeared was one in a million, too.
As time passed, you refused to talk—even a word—about us. You decided to go without any proper farewell.
You chose to erase me.
Go Here to read the rest of the blog. Of course, feel free to message me if this resonates!
How are you feeling during this Eclipse time? We are moving through such a powerful start of the summer.
You could feel that your energy is being drawn to very new ways of thinking, being in the world, working & sharing your gifts.
Things, people & places that you felt very close to or attached to even recently could feel faraway, or dramatically fading. A new path is possible. Feelings around your Twin Soul & the possible destination of this connection / pathway to Reunion could be changing & evolving towards a higher level of love & maturity.
Whenever lost, ask yourself:
Which path is the most self-loving, self-empowering & serving the communities that matter most to you? Your bonding & sense of “this holds meaning or not” as far as family, tribe, groups of friends or relationships could now entirely be reshaped. Groups that almost had no importance to you, could start & become of a paramount relevance for your healing & path of personal liberation.
Where do you feel that you had abandoned yourself by having restricted perspectives & glasses of the world?
Which long standing issue or cycle could be approached in a brand-new way?
What is coming back up which started or unfolded in 2002/2003? How do you wish to approach things differently now?
Where soul can show that it has reached a greater level of maturity?
To respond to needs of guidance & insights, without the need for you to connect at a specific time of your day through a video call — I have created the following offering:
Intuitive Channelled Recordings (10/15 min length):
They provide intuitive insights, an intuitive read of your situation, as well as distance Healing sent through Reiki.
These are sent with a spread of 3 Tarot cards also explaining what I felt and saw from another perspective. The price is of 44€.
The reading is sent directly to your email box with the cards & the recording — within the 24/48h following your purchase.
You may send me a short question, inquiry or situation that you want to investigate about — and I will read from there (even if the share is very short).
To ask for more information or arrange your reading, write me directly here: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Dear Twin Flames, you will find a new writing below. Designed for the hard times of the Twin Souls Journey.
When it’s tough, we we lose hope. A reminder that we always recover from love, even this one… perhaps, until it comes back…
“I thought I would spend a life not being in love, because of our love.
I thought no other man would have eyes of that same blue.
I thought nobody else would feel so close.
None of these were true.
It’s funny, yet so beautiful, how life is—one day you think you are dead, that you already passed away—but you aren’t.
You think that life has left you, but it didn’t.
You think love only had one name—it doesn’t.
One day he leaves and you see yourself laying on the floor, breathless, lifeless, desireless, hopeless, futureless. You think you lost everything that was you—but in fact, at that exact moment that you thought you were forever laying there, you were up. And you became something you never were before in your life.
A broken heart that stood up.”
Read the whole blog Here.
Read below my latest blog on love, intimacy & sacred sexuality:
“I had always been looking for somebody who would be both primal and sensitive. Connected to his heart and strong. Deeply present, loving and nurturing and soft — and wild too. Sexual. In his power.
That was you.
I have thought and talked a lot about sacred sex in time, but as an idea, because I didn’t know until I found you.
Until that point I believed that a man, in the bedroom as in life, was either too soft, too tender, and even reserved — or conversely dominant, disconnected from his heart and possibly there, in the bed with you, more for the performance and the fact of making the woman orgasm – partly in order to reinforce his own pride.
Before you, the men of my life may have had technique — but they lacked presence.
Some can miss the key point, which is: doing the love making with you, deeply connected to you — in response to your opening, to your love.
It’s funny because now that I’m typing this, I realize that the reason why our sexual life is so beautiful, to me, is because you gave me the love that I longed for.
It is because of the trust that we built together that my body agreed to let you lead.
It is because you were always present, consistent, reliable and sure, that you didn’t meet any resistance within my body, within my soul.
Read more of the post Here ! ❤
Much love and gratitude,
This is again a personal share about how I happened to detach, to lose attachment and this in a positive “way” for my soul mate. How I have lost in time attachment to what he could bring. How we started to be two individuals, yes living together and interdependent and in love — but on two separate journeys.
“I remember thinking we were soul mates, we would be best friends, and we would travel the world together.
We would endlessly explore France. Road trips, the sun, lightness, adventure, and you.
I also remember thinking that now that I was with you, you would be my joy—and that I was saved, and that I would be happy, because now I was with you.
You see, I was used to plenty of space, freedom, and autonomy as a single woman. But when we started to dive deeper as a couple, I think I started to lose this: I started to need you.
Love is fanciful, as attachment is.
I was starting to make promises to myself through you.
I was starting to feel better, not because of myself, but because of you.
It is an illusion to think that people heal us.
Men are not there to fill voids, in truth.
It is a princess dream to think that one day, a knight on a white horse will come for rescue.
It was a maiden mistake to think that a man can truly change a woman’s life, and that woman can be fed through man.
So I have stopped needing you. And I think this is for the best.
Read more Here.
This is a post about my own Twin Flame journey.
“You know you really love someone when you don’t hate them for breaking your heart.” ~ Unknown
It relates our story.
It is a love letter to the man who never came back. It is a love letter to maybe the most important love of my life — but we never got closure.
Read an extract below:
“When we met, I was engaged and my whole life was on the other side of the world, so at first I resisted you. A new chapter of my life was starting and I could feel it, but I couldn’t acknowledge it and allow you in.
Go Here to read the full post.
I have written a new blog about trauma bonds: its roots, why it affects some of us and not others, how it takes hold and implements within our nervous system, and how to free ourselves from it.
Please click here to read it!
Feel free to comment, share, or send me an email with any questions, reactions or comments that you may have.
“I’ve experienced trauma bonding several times already—mainly in the context of romantic relationships.
Of course, initially, I didn’t know that I was “trauma bonded.” I would have never imagined that trauma and love, or an idea of love, could be found in the same place.
Here in this article, I will refer to trauma bonding in the context of romantic relationships.
Trauma bonding takes hold easily when we have experienced these types of unhealthy attachments during our childhood. In fact, our nervous system is wired in such receptive ways precisely because we’ve been been there before. A child who has experienced abuse from a parent may, as an adult, have difficulties distinguishing, at the level of the nervous system, abuse with love.
If you were abused as a child, you had to internalize and bury your feelings of sadness, anger, unfairness, or hurt in order to be able to stay in that same environment and be still taken care of.
Your life depended on your parents and you weren’t self-reliant enough to break the bond—so you may have learned how to cope with your feelings by seeing them with rose-tainted glasses and not fully see the truth.
In some way, the child had to minimize or even deny the abuse that was happening in order to get the love, care, and attention that they needed from their caretakers.
Later in life, the individual may still expect love and attention from someone who is simultaneously abusive to them, because they were trained to—and because as a child, eventually getting the love that they needed from their parents was the reward they were seeking after enduring more grueling cycles of distrust and fear.
To the adult brain that experienced abuse in childhood, red flags may feel like home.
Please click here to go to the full post.
Twin Flames Video call Reading: 55€
Twin Flame 3 Cards Reading: 33€
— Until this Saturday.
Send a message via the contact page to schedule ❤