“I have thought of you a lot, today.

So often, I have missed you.

It’s inexplicably hard what happened. You were toxic, but I fell in love with you.

Some said you were a sinner, a manipulative golden man, a narcissist. But I didn’t trust their judgment.

I trusted the memory, the ghost of you, who you were in our beginnings. I trusted the memory of when you were at your highest, your kindest, your most loving.

So often, I have wondered if this version of you was real. I sometimes feel that after that beginning, I never saw “you” again.

I remember that I fell in love with the way that you looked at me. Your promises, too.

You see, I didn’t know exactly what love was in those innocent times. I wanted passion, I wanted to be impressed. I wanted someone that was magnetic.

Love, I thought, was fire and sparks. But I know now that love is also presence, staying, understanding one another—feeling safe and protected.

I know now that I misunderstood the idea of love; that’s why I found you.

I thought that our love would be crazy, because you were one in a million—so special and free. But the way you disappeared was one in a million, too.

As time passed, you refused to talk—even a word—about us. You decided to go without any proper farewell.

You chose to erase me.


Go Here to read the rest of the blog. Of course, feel free to message me if this resonates!

Much love,