I used to think that passion fades in time. It doesn’t. It grows through doing life together, coming back from conflicts, letting the soul bare.
I used to think that love is either wild passionate and sexy – or responsible, kind, protective and a little dull. It isn’t. Some are all the good pieces of that.
I used to think that the magic is when “you meet the one”. When it’s in front of you, right here, like a sparkling reward. When it starts, when it makes you feel like anything is possible because they actually are what you sought.
This moment is key and most often unforgettable – but beauty, alchemy and a work of another kind actually start a little after that.
After a few months. When it’s not about discovery or feeling lit up by another’s presence anymore.
When attachment patterns resurface. When you witness your partner in states of depth you never knew about. When you learn to not take things personally. When you understand they are on their own process.
When you feel yourself becoming attached and remember other losses, past heartbreaks. When you understand you actually didn’t know much about love – I mean the healthy kind.
When you actually start to build. When you see yourself actually creating a life, and a home, out of an initial spring spark – and you fear isn’t that too big, too wild. When it’s not only about the good times and pretty dresses – but winter, and the rain, and the days when we work, and the days when everyone is tired, and the days when you lose your temper.
When the initial excitement of “I think it’s Him” becomes fear of potential future pain – because you fear you might not be up to the task. When you feel the bond grow, in your blood, in your bones – and you just hope you won’t self-sabotage.
When you actually make your first big “mistakes”. When you actually end up showing this darker, little girl side of you, the one who cries hours at night when she’s sad. When you wonder if they will still love you after that.
When you start to see not all of this pain is his fault. When you see yourself more accountable than ever before because of that. When there is no room anymore to hide, to himself, and to you.
When he disappoints you big time for the first time – and you see yourself reflecting, understanding, forgiving and learning instead of finding faults. When you start to get that it’s best to understand and witness – rather than be right.
When the level of the initial questions is passed. When time has actually proved all your deepest fears wrong.
Because he is in fact there. He is in fact accountable, present, loving and wild.
It’s when this initial blue sparkle becomes house. Becomes daily love, the right dose of intimacy and boundaries – the right dose of showing up in togetherness and freedom.
I used to think that passion fades. It doesn’t. It grows through sharing depths, coming back from conflicts, letting the soul bare.
I used to think that love fades in time. It doesn’t. It grows as a garden of memories, as strong as the dark nights we travel together – as tall as this carefree blue ways of looking at life that we have when the sun shines.
I used to think that love is either wild passionate and sexy – or responsible, kind, safe and a little dull. It isn’t. I thought this because I had never experienced this type of relationship in the past.
Maybe I wasn’t ready, or it wasn’t time.
Love is more than what we first have in mind.
It asks more of us than what we first had in mind.
Commitment to another & to the self through another is a journey – not the kind of commitment that we make on paper, but one that is felt and decided in the heart.
Commitment to be and remain accountable. Commitment to keep showing up. Commitment to have a deeper look within, rather than outside.
The love I’m experiencing right now is bigger and more transformative than I thought was possible. It’s all more fun, vibrant, joyful, adventurous and soft that I hoped for.
Maybe, he is the one. I actually felt that at this initial moment – that spring night with a blue smile.
Picture borrowed from
IG The Rising Woman.